I wish I were a swift wind high up great mountains, where there is nothing but silence and grace. Sweeping clouds and worries. And I wish I were like the ocean – inscrutable and beautiful. Extending in eternal adoration of the moon, holding on to love over seven seas.

Those have no mother – yet they are like brother and sister. Ever close. Sometimes wild quarreling, conjuring storms – then peaceful and nurturing, they lead gentle waves to our shores.

But I am not the wind, nor am I the sea. I’m not even myself, as I am seen. And for sure am not this fairy they made me. There is no magic, only this shadow which is death – my eternal companion…

As in the morning the sun rises he keeps hiding himself behind, knowing the east is my hope. But with every hour of the day he sneaks closer until in the west it is time for the sun to set. So again I see him in front of me with his cold arms outstretched…

Can this shadow be love where everything else has left? Wasn’t he with me from the beginning and he still is and will be? Not like those who turned their backs on me in disbelieve…

But when I embrace him, what will expect me but darkness and cold? And when I kiss his rigid lips, will he still keep the promises given? Or are these lies again served by the devil, to punish me eternaly for love I do not feel?

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