This is my mother’s suicide note from August 2011. Well, let’s say number one out of three but this was the final note and it says everything. Of course I had to translate it, but I made sure not to distort it. But there is not even anything to distort.


I lost my son 2004. He got assaulted by my ex-husband’s family and another stranger. The stranger wanted to cut his throat but my son defended himself and stabbed his abdomen accidentally. That night my husband came home drunk and informed me: “Your son is a coward. He got into a fight with four people and shit his pants.”

I reported the incident at the police station but no one would react. So I went to a mental home in L****** because I couldn’t figure how to help my boy. I told the psychiatrist about what had happened but also she would refuse to believe me.

One day during session she asked: “How would you react if I’d tell you, your son is now in Berlin with his girlfriend?” I said I would be happy to know he is safe and they released me from this place.

As I got home I found my dog in between my smashed furniture with the words “help me” drawn on the wall. After I had called the police I had to learn my son was in prison because he had robbed a taxi driver with a toy gun in order to take care of himself and to provide himself with food. No one had  felt responsible for him. Not Mr. E. from child services nor social services, nor his sister or one of my sisters.

After I went to child services with a letter I had signed with my own blood, Mr. Z. would believe me. Again I told them my son had been assaulted in 2004 and I had washed the blood out of his jeans with my bare hands – so they took him into their custody.

I handed him to Mr. B. and Mr. F. of youth services but instead of caring for him, they sexually harassed him and brainwashed him into a terrorist. They called this “anti aggression training”. Had all his bones broken in his body and let him starve!


I will not believe what your sister has told me today! I hope you understand or will finally learn to understand that only you are you and only you will always be you and you are the only one you shall ever care about! I know now your sister needs help and has needed help eversince!


I would like to explain what she was talking about, but just translating this was already tiring. So I will keep this for a later post…


One thought on “Her final letter…

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