let me say this: I know it is painful for you to see me struggle. I know you hate those who have hurt me and it’s hard for you to understand how could they do. But don’t feel like you have to fix everything they have broken. This is not your job.
I have learned to live with these wounds and there is no hate I feel for them. Please don’t you hate them in my place.
I have learned that people harm each other without bad intention. We all look at life from a different position. It’s all about perception. We all fight our demons, and those who have caused me to feel pain and may have harmed me, did so because of what they have been facing their very selves. They didn’t see the sunset like I do, nor did they experience things like I did, simply because they experienced life as different figures in different books.
When you look at me, I know you see something vulnerable and beautiful and you are wondering how could anyone dare to harm this thing. But those may have seen me as something threatening and horrible. Like those who remain in darkness turn blind when exposed to light. While those living in broad daylight can’t see anything but darkness glimpsing at a cave.
We are all prisoners of our perception and the walls of our prisons are build out of everything we have no knowledge about.
So, I know you see me wounded and are hurt by my sadness. But this is something I wear like my skin. I do not want to display my scars and rub everything bad I had experienced in your face, because I know you think I come to have you fix my cracks and heal my wounds. But you are not a healer or a mechanic.
The scars are a part of me which I cannot always cover. And this sadness is me, like that laugh you love.
When I say you are my medicine, I don’t mean you cure everything which has already been done. Rather you are like a vitamine.
Every step I take outside they are beating and stabbing me, sure. But I’m a vital organism, sweetheart. God provided me with health and strength and I’m not leaving too much blood.
I have come so far without a protector to join my side and screen me with his shield. My Love, I did not approach you looking for a warrior. You are my home which I love to return to in pride. You are my comfort AFTER a hard day. I love your arms because you are warm and your skin is soft. I find rest curling up right next to you, with your heartbeat so calm and beautiful after all that horrible noise of the day. I love talking to you for the sake of sharing not for you to present the solution. And I very well love to hear about every of your own fights, because this assures me about that struggle is life and that I am in company of another concious being. Please don’t keep your worries from me in order to create an illusion of positivity or to simulate some utopic environment of peace. You are my peace with all your worries and needs because this is what makes you an equal human being.
My love, you are perfect for me like I am perfect for you with all my flaws. Please don’t care too much, because if you do it wrong – I will become your harm.